50 Quotes to Lift You Up and Help You Move On After Divorce
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
~Marilyn Monroe
A few months ago I was repotting a plant and it turned into a whole therapy session.
Hello, I’m Tracy… when I get into my head, I can overthink just about anything.
Anyway, I had a plant that just looked a little sad. It used to bloom a lot, but I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen a blossom on it, and the leaves looked a bit wilty. Rather than pitch it, I decided to give it some extra love and support.
She became my mission.
I found a beautiful new pot that was a little bit bigger than her old one, and covered with mosaic tiles in blues and whites (my favorites). I made a plan and bought a few necessary tools for the job. I even splurged on the expensive Miracle Grow soil, because I was all in. I was truly invested in the survival of this sad little plant, and in my mind the line between her and I began to blur. I didn’t just want her to survive, I wanted her to thrive, just as I wanted to thrive myself.
As I sat down with my plant and all of the necessary accouterments for the task, I couldn’t help myself from softly whispering to her that, while this might be uncomfortable, she would be so much stronger and happier in the long run.
When I gently pulled the plant out of her former home, I saw that she was root-bound. The roots were all crowded and tangled, and had grown long and straggly, stretching all around the pot searching in vain for what she had needed.
I carefully tugged the roots apart and untangled them before I set her down in her beautiful new home with fresh soil and lots of room to grow.
Then I waited, watched and maintained her. I made sure she had plenty of sun, water, nutrients and attention.
And what do you know? Before long her leaves perked up and she bloomed more beautifully and prolifically than she ever had before. All she needed was to be repotted and given the opportunity to grow into her potential.
I could not help but see the metaphor in my own life.
Following my divorce and the loss of my parents, I felt that I had been repotted a few times. Although I couldn’t see it at the time, each setback gave me the opportunity to stretch my roots and ultimately bloom a little fuller.
The process was super uncomfortable at first (read: painful, sad, scary) and more than once I felt as though my roots were being ripped out of the ground while I desperately tried to hold onto the pot (former life) I was in because I couldn’t imagine a life anywhere else, even though at the time I was probably a bit root-bound myself.
However, like my beautiful little plant, once I got settled in my “new pot” and gave myself the time, attention and nutrients I needed, I grew into a new version of myself that is stronger and happier than I was before.
That’s sort of how Bloom came to be my my WORD for this year. Once again, I have been repotted in a new place. With time, attention and the proper nutrients, I plan to bloom brighter than ever this year.
Does any of this resonate with you, lovely friend?
Have you been repotted lately? Have you had to start over again?
How Do You Start Over?
Starting over is never easy, but it can be especially difficult when it happens during midlife. There is already so much going on during this era, and the thought of starting over is usually contradictory to what we have been working toward thus far.
Midlife is typically a time of settling in. It follows years of spending the majority of our energy taking care of others: children, spouses, parents. It can feel foreign to turn those care-taking gifts to ourselves. But girl, believe me when I say that it is necessary for growth and happiness.
You may have heard the saying that we must love ourselves before we can truly be loved by someone else. Or there is the popular oxygen mask analogy: You must put yours on first, before you help someone else with theirs.
You get the point, right?
Starting over in midlife is sometimes unplanned and unwanted, and can come in many forms: divorce or end of a long relationship, death of a parent or other loved one, moving to a new home or a new state, career/job change, empty nest, or significant health changes.
Sudden unexpected and major life changes can make you feel like your roots are being ripped from the ground. It’s scary to be pulled out of your comfort zone, particularly if you have grown extremely comfortable in one place for a long time.
But it’s a good thing to check your roots from time to time… are they getting everything they need, everything they are searching for? What if they had more room to grow and expand? How prolifically could you blossom then? Can you imagine it?
Yes, outside of your comfort zone is where significant growth occurs. It’s where the real magic happens, my friend.
I know that it can be daunting, but trust me, with time, you too, can be stronger and happier in that new pot in front of you.
What Lifts Us Up in Hard Times?
During that ‘uncomfortable’ era following my divorce and loss of my parents, I relied on my faith, my family, and my friends to provide the attention and support I needed.
I also learned to rely on myself. I had to make sure I was feeding my body, heart, mind and soul with water, sun, and plenty of nutrients… including positive inspiration.
One of my best strategies was to fill my photo reel with screenshots of quotes to lift me up. I would reread them when I needed a boost, or write them on post-it notes and stick them to my mirror or refrigerator.
I made them into my screensavers and wallpapers on my computer and phone. I bought the decals from Hobby Lobby and adhered them to my walls. I placed them anywhere I frequently passed throughout the day and learned them by heart.
They were the extra nutrients I needed to move forward and teach myself that growth is good, and to assure myself that I would be happier and stronger in the long run. And that I am worth the time and effort.
And so are you.
50 Quotes to Lift You Up and Help You Move On
Here are 50 of the best quotes I found to lift me up after my divorce and help me move forward.
Whatever your “starting over” looks like, I hope they inspire you to keep going and to embrace the new opportunities before you.
Choose a few favorites to file away and to help you remember your worth when you need it.
Start over, my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe
She is strong, but not in the ways most people think. She loves more than she’ll ever get back and she knows it. And yet, she loves anyway.
You have always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it yourself. ~Glinda the Good Witch
And the day came when the risk of remaining tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make peace with that and all will be well.” ~Buddha
“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“There comes a time when you have to let everything fall apart. When you have to stop fighting for life you've outgrown and trust that you will be okay even if you can’t see how right now. For a while everything may feel messy and hard, and you may feel scared and lost. Embrace the fear. Embrace the uncertainty. Embrace the loss. The spark tunnel of change leads to the light of possibility, but first you have to go through it.” ~Lori Deschene
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” ~ Carol Burnett
Just because things aren’t good now doesn’t mean they will be that way forever.
“And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” ~JK Rowling
Sometimes you just have to stop worrying, wondering and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how they’re meant to be.
Everything will fall into place, just be patient.
Focus on the purpose, not the pain. God has a purpose for every trial.
Forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved, but don’t do it again.
I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
Don't be afraid of change. Remember that God would never take something away from you without the intention of replacing it with something much better.
Falling in love with yourself doesn't make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.
A caterpillar must endure a season of isolation before it turns into a butterfly. Embrace the time you have alone, it will only make you stronger.
Consider the fact that maybe God closed that door because he knew you were worth so much more.
“Divorce is never easy. I don’t care who you are or what the circumstances are. It’s a very very heavy feeling, and at the same time, it feels like a weight has been lifted.” ~Catt Sadler
Don't get mad. Don’t get even. Do better. Rise above. Become so engulfed in your own success that you forget it ever happened.
I just woke up one day and decided that I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed.
“And then the dream dies and the dream breaks into a tiny million pieces which leaves you with a choice. You can either stick with it, which is unbearable, or you can go off and dream another dream.” ~Rachel (Meryl Streep’s character in Heartburn)
Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it.
I am thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.
“When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others.” ~Eda LeShan
She got through the shit because she had to. She learned long ago that nobody was coming to save her. So she took a breath and saved herself.
Where you are today is no accident. God is using the situation you are in right now to shape you and prepare you for the place He wants to bring you into tomorrow. Trust Him with His plan even if you don’t understand it.
“Maybe part of finding what you wanted was recognizing what you didn’t want. Maybe there was hope for me yet.” ~Claire Cook (Diane Lane’s character in Must Love Dogs)
There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.
‘You’re going to be happy,’ said Life, ‘but first I’m going to make you strong.’
“Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce.” ~Glennon Doyle Melton
There’s going to be some painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change you. Let them make you stronger, smarter, and kinder, but don’t you go and become someone that you’re not. Cry. Scream if you need to. Then straighten out that crown and keep moving forward.
“Just because I didn’t have a spouse to help and enjoy those activities with didn’t mean they couldn’t happen. Just because my plan A didn’t work out didn't mean plan B couldn't be really kickass. In fact who was to tell me that my life as a single mother couldn’t be completely wonderful?” ~Emma Johnson, The Kickass Single Mom
And then it happens… one day you wake up and you’re in this place. You’re in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You’re at peace…at peace with where you’ve been, at peace with what you’ve been through and at peace with where you’re headed.
God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were meant to be.
One thing I realized is that everything ends up working out. Sometimes even better than you can imagine. Remember this when you’re in a hard place or feel like you’re being challenged the most. Believe in where you’re heading.
“The good thing about getting divorced young – if there is a good thing – is that it makes you realize there’s no schedule in life. It blasts you wide open and frees you to be honest with yourself.” ~ Olivia Wilde
Soon, when all is well, you’re going to look back on this period of your life and be so glad that you never gave up.
The best feeling is watching things fall together after watching them fall apart for so long.
When you love yourself you attract better. You let others know that you deserve the best by treating yourself well. Everything starts with how you feel about yourself. Feel worthy. Feel valuable. Feel special. Feel deserving of receiving the best. It will happen for you.
“I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.” ~W C Hannan
If you learn to wait upon God He will give you exactly what is best for you. Far more than you deserve and far more than you ever expected.
She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.
Be strong enough to let go, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.
Don’t put your happiness in the hands of someone else. If you really want to be happy, you have to find this happiness within yourself.
Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle.
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not a victim.” ~Nora Ephron
Know that you are worthy of the time and effort it takes to feed yourself with positivity. Even in the discomfort, you can learn to stretch your roots and allow yourself to embrace the repotting that divorce or any other big life change brings.
Do you know another midlife everygirl who could use some inspiration? Share this post with her and reassure her that she will bloom again.
What is your favorite quote for getting through hard times? Comment below and share it with the rest of us.
We midlife women are warriors. Together we can lift each other up after hard times and provide the inspiration to step out of our comfort zones and stretch our roots toward our limitless potential.
You can have that life. You are worth it.
You are positively limitless.
