Getting Through the Post-Holiday Blues
“Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day. It’s a frame of mind.” ~Valentine Davies
Can the Holiday Season Affect our Mindset?
Hey girl, you made it! Another Christmas is in the books! I hope it was all you hoped for, and more.
But I also want to assure you that if this holiday season did not manage to meet your lofty expectations, you are not alone.
The holidays can be a dizzying time of activity and expectations that keep us riding waves of emotion throughout the month of December and well into the New Year. They can bring us to the heights of joyous euphoria, and can also crash us down into pits of disappointment and grief.
All alcohol aside, many of us wake up on December 26th with an ”expectation hangover.” This happens when your desired outcome is not met… Either things didn’t turn out as you planned, or they did go as expected, but you still feel weirdly empty.
The constant ups, downs, twists and turns of the season can take a huge toll on our mindset.
How did we get here?
Each year the day after Thanksgiving officially kicks off the holiday frenzy with a day that we ironically call “Black Friday.” Along with this unofficial start of the holiday season, the build-up to the perfect vision of December 25th begins.
The anticipation becomes palpable. It’s go time!
As we enter December, signs of festivity appear everywhere. Our senses are overloaded with the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas.
It seems futile to resist the enticing call of the Christmas Spirit, especially when it softly whispers in your ear, “Maybe this will be the year of The Perfect Christmas!”
The Perfect Christmas. You know the one: That vision you have created in your mind where your family room hearth looks like a page from a storybook, everyone in the family gets along in harmony, the iced cookies are delicious (and non-fat inducing) and each loved one is absolutely delighted with the gift that you have carefully selected for them.
ALL joy and NO stress, right?
But who will make this happen? Who is qualified and up for the challenge?
You guessed it…
It’s YOU!
YOU are the master of the Christmas season in your home, the one who can make The Perfect Christmas become a reality.
YOU are the Christmas Spirit.
For some unspoken and intrinsic reason dating back to the early days of this modern Christmas craziness, we, as women (including moms, step-moms, grandmas and favorite aunts, among others) repeatedly step up to the plate and volunteer as tributes, enthusiastically taking this responsibility upon our own shoulders.
And you know as well as I do, we do not take this challenge lightly.
Why do we let our expectations get so high?
Once the Christmas season gets underway, it’s very difficult to avoid being swept up into the frenzy, isn’t it?
One day the decorations go up inside and out of every home and establishment, flashing and twinkling in a spectacle of merriment that gets the cinnamon and spice flowing through your bloodstream.
Christmas music is piped into every store, coffee shop, and radio station, subliminally drawing you into its festive spell.
The gift lists, the planning, the baking and the favorite holiday memories begin seeping into the free space in your mind.
And then the activities begin!
The weekends are quickly filled up with holiday parties and Christmas concerts. Gingerbread houses are constructed. Photos with Santa are snapped. Cookies are baked and the halls are decked with new things and old, including the little ornaments made with popsicle sticks and painted handprints. (Oh, the memories of Christmases past!)
As the visions of Norman Rockwell paintings and Hallmark Christmas movies begin dancing in your head, the line between those heart-warming fantasies and your actual reality starts to blur.
Suddenly it all seems possible and attainable. This is it! This is the year!
And regardless of your feeble attempts to manage your expectations, they are usually through the roof by December 21st, right?
At your home, the scene has been set, right down to the cinnamon-scented candles burning and the Christmas songs softly playing in the background. The gifts have been carefully wrapped. The stockings have been hung by the chimney with care.
The kids (and perhaps even grandkids) have come back home and are close enough to hug whenever you want.
The joy in the air is tangible and by Christmas Eve your heart is literally threatening to burst.
Then it arrives. The BIG DAY.
Christmas morning is filled with all of the warm fuzzy feels that we live for: Happy kids, smiling grown ups, family love. Stockings and presents, gratitude and hugs, food and drinks, games and movies.
Although inevitably everyone has their own share of family drama (some years more than others), it is typically a day that embodies love, gratitude and togetherness.
What is it about the day after Christmas?
But then in a flurry of spilled eggnog and discarded wrapping paper Christmas is over and the inevitable letdown begins to settle in, like a red balloon with a slow leak that you can’t seem to stop from deflating.
The family packs up and heads back home. The clean up begins. The twinkling lights have lost their magic and the emptiness of the stockings is somehow melancholy.
The loss of loved ones or big life changes can hit us everygirls particularly hard around this time, as well.
Add a dose of menopausal hormone fluctuations, and you, lovely girl, have a recipe for the blues.
One week later you get the momentary lift of New Year’s Eve to bump your spirits back up as you attempt to recapture the sparkle of the season with champagne and party hats, but when the ball has dropped and the confetti has been swept up, here you are again.
Here comes a month of overcast skies and slushy streets, with the sound of empty sound of silence hanging in the air.
How do you pull yourself out of the post-holiday January blues?
Beautiful friend, now is the time to make plans for getting a handle on those blues before they can even set in. By being intentional and proactive, you can train your mind to focus on purpose, peace, and positivity. Here are 5 strategies that can help.
1. Undecorate with intention.
Take your time packing away the holiday decorations. Think about each item before it is carefully put away and ask yourself a few questions, such as:
Is there a special memory attached to this ornament?
Does this still “spark joy”?
Is it time to pass this heirloom candy dish down to one of the kids?
Is it time to separate some of the ornaments for the kids?
Do I really want to get the dancing Santa out again next year, or is it time for him to head to the donation box?
Don’t rush yourself. Get in your comfies, put on a favorite movie (not a holiday Hallmark one, this time) and grab a cup of tea or cocoa.
Fondly wrap the Nativity pieces with extra tissue paper before they go into the box. Remind yourself that the reason for this entire season is wrapped up in these characters and this Holy Night.
Get rid of anything broken or no longer functional. Check each light string before it gets wrapped around an empty paper towel roll and stored away.
Place the stockings gently on top of the tree ornaments and hearth decorations with particular care.
If you can repack with intention, not only will you thank yourself next December (or November) when you get them out again, but you can get in front of a frantic scurry to get it all put away in a hurry, which only increases anxiety and frustration.
Take your time and make it special. Trust me, it helps with the process of moving on.
2. Grab a pen and write it down.
Open your journal and get your thoughts down on paper while they are fresh in your memory. What were the highlights of this holiday season and what are you most grateful for? Bring it all back to the forefront of your mind.
Write out the traditions you kept, and would like to continue in the future. Jot down the funny comments and stories that were told so they can be recycled next year for another warm laugh.
To keep the fuzzy feelings of gratitude flowing, take some time to write out thank you notes. You may hear that it has become an outdated thing to do, but you also know that it is always greatly appreciated (and unexpected) by the receiver.
Maybe you need to go deeper into your thoughts. Is something specific weighing you down right now? Sometimes writing down the hard feelings and actually acknowledging them can make them easier to work through. Giving them a name can lessen their power and help you to move forward.
3. Get out and get moving.
Get out of the house. For any reason or mission.
A quiet empty house can feel overwhelming following all of the holiday bustle. Just getting out for a bit can prevent those stir-crazy feelings, or keep you from the slippery slope of burrowing too deeply into your own head.
Hit the post-Christmas sales, plan lunch with a friend, or just take a walk around the block.
Did your New Year’s resolution include another gym membership? Perfect! Getting your body moving in a positive way is great for your physical and mental health. Walk the track or lift some weights. Swim laps in the indoor pool. Join a class.
Of course, a yoga session in your living room (a judgment-free zone!) is also highly beneficial and FREE. Focus on stretching, meditating or strength-building.
Whatever you choose to do… Just. Get. Moving.
4. Start the New Year with positive intent.
It’s the start of a brand new year, and now is the perfect time to dream a brand new dream.
It’s New Year’s resolution time!
What do you want to accomplish this year? What would you like to try? Start by brainstorming an audacious list of ideas and write them down.
Have you fallen down on your resolutions in the past? Me too, girl!
Haven’t we all?
No worries. The slate has been wiped clean and you have been gifted a new opportunity to start again.
Instead of trying to stay on top of a brand new habit, which we both know can be difficult to keep up with, visualize the outcome you want and stay focused on it until you get there. Paint a picture in your mind of exactly what that end result will look like for you, or print out an example and tape it to your mirror. Work towards it a little bit every day and celebrate each step of success!
Create a vision board with the inspirational photos, words and quotes that will carry you through the upcoming year with intention and focus. You can craft a digital board online or go old school with posterboard, magazine pictures, and glue. (Don’t forget the glitter if it makes you happy!) Hang it in a place where you can see it every day and remind your brain of your goals and priorities.
Maybe you’d like to simplify and choose just one word to guide you through the year. Brainstorm a list of words that capture the essence of your intention for the next 12 months. Then narrow it down to a few favorites and let it sit. Sometimes you will know the right word immediately, and sometimes the right word will slowly choose you. Use that word as a touchstone all year to keep you moving forward on a productive path. You will thank yourself in December.
5. Take a self-care day.
Now that gift-giving for everyone else is completed, give yourself the gift of a day about you. Make it into whatever it is that you need in this moment.
A massage can do wonders for stiff, achy muscles, while the quiet music can give your mind some time to reflect or just turn down. A facial can have similar benefits while providing a youthful moisturizing shot for the dry month ahead.
A warm bath at home is a cost-free option that can do the same. Light a few candles and sprinkle in your favorite essential oil. Relax.
If you take the time to meditate, or at least sit quietly and focus on your breathing, you can help calm your mind and body at the same time.
Maybe a Netflix day with a few favorite or uplifting movies will put you in a brighter frame of mind. Short-term escapism has the power to transport you into a place where your own stresses can melt away for a while. It allows you to take a brief step back from your current realities, and then re-evaluate them when you return to the present.
Run the highlight reels of all of the pictures and videos you took over the last month. Print out the best of your recent photos and relive them in your mind as you put them in an album or design a few scrapbook pages with the holiday highlights.
Smile as you rewatch the Reels and Tik Toks of the kids dancing in your living room or opening presents on Christmas morning.
Girl, feelings of letdown after the holiday are completely natural, and it’s okay to be a little blue for a while. However, if it feels like sadness is lingering too long or interfering with your daily activities, consider outside support. Confide in friends and allow them to wrap around you.
Professional help can be a very positive and beneficial resource, particularly if you are experiencing grief or depression.
Make sure you are getting plenty of Vitamin D3, fresh air and water. Be proactive about your mental and emotional health.
Whatever you choose to do, do it for you.
You can overcome the post-holiday letdown
Let’s face it, it is almost impossible to avoid getting caught up in the euphoria of the holiday season, and why would you not want to? It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right?
Whatever it looks like to you, it’s a beautiful season filled with so many opportunities to be happy and spread happiness to others.
As women, we are frequently the cornerstone of the holiday traditions and events that take place and that can be a lot of responsibility to carry. We bend over backwards trying to make the season as magical as we can for those around us, which can naturally cause us to feel a bit overwhelmed and underserved when it’s over. (Have you seen the SNL skit about mom getting a robe for Christmas? Google it.)
So it wasn’t the year of The Perfect Christmas? No worries! Let it go!
Better yet, embrace it! Keep in mind that the imperfections are frequently the parts that we remember with the most fondness and produce the biggest smiles when they are brought up from year to year.
Isn’t that why we love movies like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? Everything that could have gone wrong did! But at the end of the movie, Clark realized that the true meaning of Christmas was about family being together.
You’re smiling thinking of that right now, aren’t you?
Acknowledge that you have done an amazing job, Mama! You crafted core memories that your children and grandchildren will carry in their hearts forever.
Because of you, Christmas is about love and faith and joy.
Because of you, the season resonates with laughter and kindness and belonging.
Because of you, your family is secure in the knowledge that Christmas means togetherness and love.
And because of you, next year will be the most beautiful, perfectly imperfect Christmas yet.
